Unreliable Source Says, ‘Woman Attached to the Most Famous Ass in the World Wants to be Jewish’

According to an extremely unreliable source, Ms. Magnifique Derrière, otherwise known as Kim Kardashian, is thinking of following in the footsteps of her fellow Hollywood ‘sisters from other misters’ and joining the tribe of the Chosen. As Kim and her hubby already visited Israel last April and with her sisters possibly buying a new apartment in Tel Aviv, who knows, the rumors may be true.

The woman attached to the most famous ass in the world noted, “The fact is, Hebrews and Shebrews are totally my thing. I mean, look at those girls, those asses, those boobs. You telling me I don’t fit right in?”

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Apparently, following a past low-key trip to Israel, Kardashian told others that she felt particularly at home in the Holy Land, and has since been visiting her local Los Angeles Jewish Community Center. “Wow, and I thought my mother was over-involved in my life! But you know, I really feel connected to the Jewish People – we’ve both had such tough lives and histories and yet we’ve gotten through it by sticking with our families and working hard to be great with money.”

Unconfirmed reports say Kim and her husband, full-time rapper and part-time expert at fucking up award shows, Kanye West, are deliberating whether to officially immigrate to Israel, if she can manage to pass the conversion tests. “With that brain-to-ass ratio, we’re not holding our breath,” said one Rabbi.